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The classy bride’s guide to surviving wedding day shoes

April 13th, 2017

As a bloke you might wonder what I know about shoes.  Admittedly I look RUBBISH in heels, but I do know more than you might think when it comes to wedding day shoes.

First of all there’s the nightmare of choosing your shoes.  You might want to choose a pair of shoes that you feel represent yourself or yourselves as a couple.  But that could mean anything.  If you’re into growing food on your allotment then wellies would represent you.  Maybe you’re both into historical re-enactment societies, in which case you could wear whatever the hell it was that soldiers in the English civil war had on their feet.  If you’re into steampunk then you could wear some two foot high platform boots with all kinds of vintage looking bits of metal crap stuck to them.

Then there are the more outlandish choices.  Have you seen those sneakers that kids wear with wheels in them?  You could gracefully glide down the aisle.  Or if you have a last minute change of heart you could get a quick getaway.

In reality most brides choose heels of some sort.  It’s a choice of footwear that has been about for a long time now, and for a good reason.  Heels can look great.  Finding a pair that perfectly compliment your dress can be a bit of a pain in the arse, but whoever is supplying your dress will have plenty of suggestions.

If you do choose heels there are some practical issues to take into consideration, but as a non-heel wearing fella I’m sure you know more about the dangers that I do.  But wedding days are long, really long, so it’s a good idea to have a comfy pair of flat shoes on standby in case your feet start to hurt.

There is one good bit of advice I can offer when it comes to wearing heels on your big day.  Don’t get shit-faced drunk.  It might be tempting to get carried away with the booze when the party atmosphere really kicks in at your reception, but heels and pissed up dancing just don’t mix.  At the very least you might look slightly inelegant wobbling around on your heels. At the worst you could break your ankle.  So when it comes to knocking back a few and hitting the dancefloor that pair of flat shoes I mentioned early start to look really appealing.

At the end of the day, if you’re wearing a big wedding dress then the chances are nobody will be able to see your feet anyway.  So wear whatever the hell you want.  Just be comfortable.

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